Lost Innocence | Valhalla (The Viking Song) |
Lyrics written by - Stephen Peck and Jon Atkins Music written by - Russ Cogdell Backup Vocals - Misty (Melba's little sister) | Lyrics written by - Jon Atkins and Russ Cogdell Music written by - Russ Cogdell |
Way down in the halls of the Westmoreland Mall Lies a pretzel place, the most evil of all The employees that work there is evil as well And that freaking Doughboy can go straight down to... Help me overcome Help me understand Why Chik-Fil-A Is so close to Auntie AnnŐs So Doughboy proclaims that I egged his black truck But poor Doughboy is just plain out of luck ÔCause she doesnŐt like him, thatŐs all in the past And that freaking Doughboy is a pain in my... As I overcome As I understand Why Chik-Fil-A Is so close to Auntie AnnŐs I lost my innocence... oh yeah. Our hero so brave, stood up to the test He tried and he failed but he still did his best Our hero so strong, he dug his own ditch And that freaking Doughboy is a son of a... Which will overcome? Which will understand? Why Chik-Fil-A Is so close to Auntie AnnŐs I lost my innocence... oh yeah. | With one foot on the bow I raise my head to the sky With two horns on my helmet, I stand with a Viking pride I thrust my axe into the air Lay my head down low Where we go I do not know I tell them row Row Forty days and forty nights with no sign of shore But eagerness kept telling me it's time to explore From the nest of crows I hear a mighty joyous woe It seems the gods play us in favor Land Ho! I am a Viking I am a Viking I am a Viking I storm the gates of castles in rampaging crusades I pay no mercy to the ones who stand in my way With bodies on the ground And many blood stains in my beard I am great I am respected I am feared I am a Viking I am a Viking I am a Viking The sun sets on my journey and home becomes my course But for the plunder and the death I feel no remorse For whether defeat rears its ugly head Or victory is nigh I'm a viking and I'll be one Till I die
|
Phantom Cyclist | Weather Girl |
Lyrics written by - Josh Graw Music written by - Russ Cogdell | Lyrics written by - KDave Trinh Music written by - Russ Cogdell |
Rolling down the river with my boots in my hands Got a six shooter on my hip I'm the fastest draw in the land Got the sun beatin' on my back Sweatin' beads on my brow I'm headin' out west, oh yes, I'm huntin' you down The moon peaks his head to see what's about The river runs dry and The Phantom is out Phantom Cyclist Rollin' down the road Phantom Cyclist I'm in my killin' mode Phantom Cyclist Time to lock and load Phantom Cyclist Strolled into the tavern at the top of the day I'm thirstin' for some whiskey Boys get out of my way Inward walks a stranger, smile as dark as the night He did not ride a horse He rode a shiny new bike Chill marks his entry and his look is of ice The bartender pours his drink Without thinking twice Phantom Cyclist Rollin' down the road Phantom Cyclist I'm in my killin' mode Phantom Cyclist Time to lock and load Phantom Cyclist The land was deserted in the streets of the town The Phantom strode up, no he wouldn't back down So I walked up to meet him, his hat, was tipped to see When I looked on the Phantom, he was... he was looking straight at me His hand found his pistol, that's my signal to start When I shot the Phantom, I felt a, I felt a stab straight through my heart You can rev up your engine but you don't scare me You can rev up your engine but you don't scare me
|
Who's that woman looking back at me? Predicting the weather on my TV Meteorologist to the extreme She's the hottest weather girl I've ever seen Weather Girl, please buy me dinner. Weather Girl, just buy me dinner. C'mon Weather Girl, please buy me dinner. C'mon Weather Girl, just buy me dinner. When your cold front meets my hot front Temperatures are going to rise Chance of some showers within 24 hours Give me your latest forecast, give it to me Precipitation, an accumulation My Doppler's spinning fast, spinning fast C'mon Weather Girl, please buy me dinner. C'mon Weather Girl, just buy me dinner. When your jet stream moves across my screen It will be in the highs But alas my Weather Girl she had to go News was over, end of the show Her final promise, to return again I guess I'll have to wait until 10pm
|
Moon Bones | Charlatan |
Lyrics written by - Stephen Peck Music written by - Russ Cogdell | Lyrics written by - States of Melba (very late into the night) Music written by - Russ Cogdell |
I used to be a happy space colonist Living in my dust hut I attended the University With dreams of becoming a Martian horticulturalist I loved a girl with hair like the soil I thought she loved me but... She had been washing my hogs all along She vetoed my dreams There's nothing left to do but advance to the nearest crater To mine ore But she said And she said But she said And she said Let's go to the moon You're the man of my dreams And now that we're on the moon It's time to extract your heart And now I'm a mound of moonbones An accumulation of moonbones She took a rocket back to Mars And left me far behind Without my heart I withered away I withered away In advance to my time, and now I'm withering Alas she's gone And now I'm fine And now I'm fine with my moonbones But she said And she said But she said And she said Let's go to the moon You're the man of my dreams And now that we're on the moon It's time to extract your heart And now I'm a mound of moonbones An accumulation of moonbones
| All aboard! All aboard! The Super Pagoda Line will be departing for Charlatan at 9:30. It's 9:30. All aboard ladies and gentlemen. I'm your conductor, Benjamin Seethrough, and I'll be seeing you through the States of Melba to our last stop, Charlatan. Welcome aboard.
If your going to Charlatan say, "Woo hoo, woo woo woo hoo hoo"
Excuse me sir, where's your ticket. Well, you see... I don't have a ticket. I'm a hobo. Hmmmm... Carry on then.
If your going to Charlatan say, "Woo hoo, woo woo woo hoo hoo"
Hello, hello, hello, this is Dusty Hebranx your train entertainer for this evening. I have with me four ordinary playing cards. Count them, with me... one... two... three... Where's the fourth card? (Clapping) Again, again. One... two... three...
Skat session & Clap along Come sing ding with me (multiple "dings")
Dr. Stats, Dr. Stats, there's bats in the caboose. Have we met? No, I'm General Quack. I'm Dr. Stats. To the caboose!
Anything off the menu this evening, sir? Yes, I was looking at the Chicken Con Queso and the Chili Con Carne and I don't care You're so clever Simmons. And anything for the lady? A lemonade no ice? Now Buffy, you know how lemonaide makes you frumpy. A little bit.
Benjamin Seethrough here. I was just walking through the luggage. Walking through the luggage compartment, I'm opening things up. Yep, just checking for loose garments, underwear, braziers and such. Maam, I'm going to have to open your suitcase Sucks to be you but I gotta check this out.
You know, it's tough being a conductor. Takes years of... training.
|